A Holy Week Journey to the Threshold that is Holy Saturday ...

This entry consists of adapted Facebook posts over the seven days of holy week 2017 (Year A) from Palm Sunday leading up to and including Holy Saturday, a day of holy darkness ... pausing, waiting, lingering in the threshold between death and resurrection.   If you would like to find these meditations on Facebook (dates noted) or follow MOSAIC, this is the link to do so:  https://www.facebook.com/mosaic.sfm/

Palm Sunday:  Obedience
April 9, 2017

Jesus gave the disciples a task, "Go ... find ... bring ..." see Matthew 21:2

I find myself wondering where am I to go, what will I find, how will I bring ... and how will the journey unfold? My word for this day is obedience.   How do I hear God?   Certainly, through the spiritual practice of "Lectio Divina," which means holy reading as I let the words wash over me and fill me with the living word, there is often an energy which emanates from the text, often just a word never more than a phrase and ... sometimes, an image will come to me and I dabble with my watercolors or oil pastels to make the text come alive.  Today, there was simply the backdrop of palms dropping onto the sand creating a path ... Go, find, bring, the words alive and energized but provide no direction.  How can I go if I do not hear, how can I find if I do not go, how can I bring if I do not find?  And I am back to listening ... waiting ... wondering how the journey will unfold.

Breath Prayer:
Breathing in ... Seeking God
Breathing out ... Go with me
Breathing in ... Finding God
Breathing out ... Show me your way
Breathing in ... Welcoming God
Breathing out ... Open my heart




Holy Monday: Gratitude
April 10, 2017

Open the gates of righteousness for me, so I can come in and give thanks to the Lord! This is the Lord's gate; those who are righteous enter through it.   Psalm 118:19-20

As I meditate on these words, I wonder, where is this gate?    They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, but I think, perhaps this gate about which the Psalmist speaks is my heart.   And perhaps gratitude is the key to this gate that is my heart.   I have challenged a group of dear friends to keep a journal until we meet again.  The suggestion is simple.  Each day write down 3 things you are grateful for.  And don't repeat.  At first this is very easy because there is so much to be grateful for, yes?  But as time goes on, it becomes a little more difficult because my world is so small and my perception so shallow.  As I sit with journal in hand, I spend more time thinking about my day and the encounters of life.  Somehow I find gratitude in small things I might not otherwise have noticed.  As time wears down, it becomes downright hard ... again, my world grows and changes and I find gratitude in things I may not even like, I find something positive in even the most negative situations and people.  Lord, have mercy ... is that my heart growing, opening, becoming!

Thank you God for life abundant, love overflowing, and light perpetual. My word for this day is gratitude.

Breath Prayer:
Breathing in ...
God of righteousness
Breathing out ...
open the gates of my heart
Breathing in ...
God of Gratitude
Breathing in ...
receive my song of thanks








Holy Tuesday:  Betrayal

April 11, 2017 

"Even if I must die alongside you, I won't deny you." Peter to Jesus, and "all the disciples said the same thing." Matthew 26:35

My word for today is betrayal, and it took me all day to sit with this word. Both Judas and Peter betrayed Jesus. By bargaining with his life and agreeing to turn Jesus over for 30 pieces of silver, Judas engages in active betrayal. Peter, on the other hand, engages in passive betrayal. How often have I betrayed Jesus by not speaking, by simply not acting in a situation when I should.



As I continued to sit with the Judas and Peter stories, I was entranced by the sheer folly of thinking that I have made it to some arbitrary place of "holiness," a place that insulates me from betrayal.  Each of these men knew Jesus intimately, and yet they fell victim to the demons of darkness within themselves.  Their personalities together with their expectations helped to carve out a road to ruin and death for their beloved friend ... only one made it back to Jesus on this earth.   What was it that kept Peter going?  How was he able to confront his fears?  How did he make it back to the community, to follow Jesus?

The image that came to me during Lectio Divina, "holy reading," was a rooster with pieces of silver raining down upon it, not phasing it, just framing it in its beauty.   As I sit with this image, I wonder ... What stops me, from speaking, from acting?  What is the source of my betrayal?  Perhaps it is fear and I ask as I walk with Peter into the night, what is God calling me to speak or do right now in my life that I am resistant to?   How can I confront the fears that arise within me?  How can I just keep going even when I am disappointed, even when I am in denial, even when reality falls so short of my expectations?

Breathing in ... Loving God
Breathing out ... forgive my betrayals
Breathing in ... Forgiving God
Breathing out ... I rest in your love

Holy Wednesday:  Presence
April 12, 2017

"This is my body, which is for you; do this to remember me. This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Every time you drink it, do this to remember me." 1 Corinthians 11:24-25

A lovely arrangement of the song "In Remembrance of Me."   LINK:  https://youtu.be/nV_kFlsKrQU

This song is a stark reminder to me that Jesus died not just for certain people but for all, and that when love is present, Jesus is present.  Sometimes this is hard to realize, that Jesus loves everyone, even the one or more we don't love the most.  Jesus even said, "love your enemies" which is hard to do emotionally but the love Jesus abides in is God's unconditional love, called agape.  Jesus expects us to grow into this agape love but Jesus goes even further than just words, he takes the concept all the way to the cross with him.  He dies for this kind of love, to show us what agape love is all about.  And, sometimes I won't even give the time of day to someone I'm mad at.   Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  I can't but you can!  Perhaps with your help, that means I can, too!

My word for this day in my Holy Week journey is Presence. Jesus, even in the shadows of betrayal, desertion, and impending death, was supremely present to his friends.   As he created the embodied ritual we celebrate as Eucharist, or Holy Communion, or perhaps even The Lord's Supper, he was fully present to us as well.  As a United Methodist deacon, I believe that although there is not a physical change in the bread and the juice in the cup, there is a change in meaning and purpose that happens during the Eucharist .  It is sustaining in a different way, it is sustaining to my soul.  As I share in the bread and cup, the symbol of the body and blood of Christ, I experience the fullness of Christ strengthening me to grow toward agape love.  

How do you experience the presence of God as you partake of the bread and cup?

Breath Prayer:

Breathing in ... Lord Jesus Christ
Breathing out ... I remember you
Breathing in ... Lord Jesus Christ
Breathing out ... remember me

Image Attribution: Rossakiewicz, Jacek Andrzej, Last Supper from Art in the Christian Tradition, a project of the Vanderbilt Divinity Library. Nashville, TN. http://diglib.library.vanderbilt.edu/act-imagelink.pl… - private






Maundy Thursday:  Servant
April 13, 2017

I give you a new commandment: love each other. Just as I have loved you, so you also must love each other. This is how everyone will know you are my disciples, when you love each other. John 13:34-35

I love the images of Maundy Thursday: basin, towel, pitcher, water. I love them not just as the symbol of a deacon and the call I've received to be the embodiment of love while serving both the church and the world.

Tonight, this night in my Holy Week journey these simple instruments are an even deeper symbol of the sacrificial love for humanity that infuses the kind of servant Jesus was to humanity, scripture often uses the word "slave" but that is probably more cultural.   My word for this day is Servant.

Jesus offers us a vibrant image as he begins pouring the water ... I wonder, whose feet am I called to wash? how deep is the love I must receive from God in order to be prepared to first of all, love, and then to wash, the feet of all people, even those who are not "my kind." Lord, have mercy on me, cleanse my heart, and deepen my understanding of this amazing LOVE you not only speak of but that you embody.   Help me always to speak and embody this agape love ... even when I don't feel like it.

Breath Prayer:
Breathing in ... serving Jesus
Breathing out ... wash my feet
Breathing in ... saving Jesus
Breathing out ... cleanse my heart










Good Friday:  Suffering
April 14, 2017

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

Good Friday has always been my favorite worship "experience" of the year. There is something about the poignancy of this journey into suffering and death that touches me in the deepest part of myself. I still remember one Good Friday years ago when I heard a friend of mine, Pam Marsh Keightley, sing Via Dolorosa in the near dark of the sanctuary, and it was as if I was with Jesus that night, I was simply transported into his presence, his suffering, the tears flowing into and out from my heart. 

I wonder ... how does one deny themselves and carry the cross that is theirs to bear with out walking the Via Dolorosa, with Jesus? ... without knowing the depths of love that are so deep that death is preferable to letting go of the mission, to know that death may be the mission? ... in this world that we live in, this day, how do I give myself so totally to this sacrificial Love, how can I be a living sacrifice, an embodied sacrifice for others as Jesus was, as God calls me to be?    My word today is suffering.

I offer this video because of its simplicity for suffering invites me into simplicity ... just young people on the beach giving themselves to the story. It is quite beautiful.   https://youtu.be/31urACOSS1o - private

Breath Prayer:
Breathing in ... Jesus, in your agony
Breathing out ... I want to stay awake
Breathing in ... Crucified Christ
Breathing out ... I want to follow you
Breathing in ... Silent Savior
Breathing out ... I have no words

Holy Saturday:  Threshold

April 15, 2017

Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were there, sitting opposite the tomb. Matthew 27:61

I offer you "Holy Darkness" a song written by Dan Schutte and sung via youtube by John Michael Talbot with some adaptation to the lyrics but it is the beauty of the chorus that makes this the song for me and for this day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAeCzCDb9NQ&feature=youtu.be 

As I sit here, alone, on this Saturday afternoon, pondering my word for today, Threshold, I wonder ... what makes it holy?  It is the story, only the story.  On Friday evening, Jesus said, "It is finished."  And the world was shrouded in darkness, the people of God felt abandoned, their friend, their beloved ONE, their Jesus had been crucified.  It is a time where you want to simply crawl inside yourself and die, too.  WHAT  NOW ???

Have you ever been there?   Do you know this abandonment?   I remember when my mother died.  Perhaps that is the closest I've been to what I can imagine the 2 Marys felt, sitting opposite the tomb.  What were they looking for?  What needs did they have that were being met by their proximity to the tomb?   There is a moment when time stands still, you can't look back - too painful - you can't look forward - to0 unimaginable.    It is what Esther deWaal calls "the time between times" in her marvelous little book, To Pause at the Threshold: Reflections on Living on the Border.  She says Holy Saturday "is the time of vital silence that gives meaning to the whole."  

I remember spending the "Saturday" of my mother's death, the time between times sitting on the back patio listening to nature the same way she did, looking out upon her rock garden where she spent long hours, breathing deeply and loving each moment.  I already felt so close to her.  Suddenly, a bird began to sing.  I listened to the beautiful bird for quite awhile and suddenly she came closer, closer still, singing and flitting around and around me.  She wanted my attention and I felt the manifestation of a "sign" in my heart.  Oh yes, "mom," I will see you again.  

Holy Saturday is the time between times ... as we leave the cross on Friday evening and walk into the mysterious darkness that envelops our body, our mind and our soul, we let go.  We let go of all of our hopes and dreams for the future, and tomorrow will never be the same.  Our world will never be the same.  The truth is that we can never really know what tomorrow holds.  When the sun rises and the dawn envelops the world wherever you are, you are suddenly looking tomorrow in the face whether you are ready or not.  

I always find it amusing when we anticipate Easter so vibrantly as it dawns in the morning!  We sing and shout hosannas to the risen Lord!  Oh how we want to skip Saturday, the time between times ... can't we just get to the good part?   I'm not sure that even after almost 10 years that I've gotten to the "good part" of my mother's death, not really.  Yesterday will never come again, not in the same way.  But even if you struggle to get ahead you will circle back to this space time and again.   If you are a liturgical Christian, Lent and Holy Week comes every year and we are so blessed by the journey, to live through the story again and again.  I appreciate St. Benedict's counsel about the spiritual life.  He says, "always we begin again."  Tomorrow, I intend to begin again, again.   What do you plan to do with your "tomorrow?"

Breath Prayer:

Breathing in ... Holy Darkness
Breathing out ... I rest in you
Breathing in ... Holy Silence
Breathing out ... I embrace you








 So now, how do we get to the time after the time between times ... we wake up, we get up, we watch the sun rise, we gather in community to celebrate the SON rise, and then ... we Go!   Take this link to view Easter Sunday: Go!